My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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