They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
the condom got lost in my hair
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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