community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
cat food counts as protein by the way
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
