I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Randomize
