We're like a lot better than the average bears
Nicole vs. Life
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Randomize
