Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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