go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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