Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
