The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
