I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
