Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
