...so i touched it.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
