Can Purell be used as lube?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
You're like the curious george of whores
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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