I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize