what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Randomize
