she was so not down for the gang bang
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
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