There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You are a genius and a whore.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
