she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Randomize
