I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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