My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
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