I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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