CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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