Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
