just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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