I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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