you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
