we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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