He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
