im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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