So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
