bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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