Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
All the doctor said was why
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
