Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You need Xanax blowdarts
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Randomize
