i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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