u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
