wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
