I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
