Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Blow job season was short but glorious.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize