if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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