Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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