As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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