omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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