just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
