you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
