Whod you bang
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
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