do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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