And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
