Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize