Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
