She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize