You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
