there was a trapeze. enough said
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
