What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize