She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
