Can i not drive my cunt home
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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