Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
