im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
