My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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