why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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