she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
