Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I met the friendliest cop last night
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
