Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
