saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
