So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
nutella sex= disaster
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
