She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
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