HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Randomize
