I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
