you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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