does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
