I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
